Is it true that who brings the trays in wedding will stay single for a long time?
It is a rumor that whoever brings the trays in the wedding will have their “charm”, or “love luck”, transferred to the others and can’t get it back. The rumor goes that this person will find it hard to meet true love for the rest of their life. Is it true so?
Why is there the custom of carrying the trays in wedding?
Carrying the trays in wedding has been a tradition for many previous generations in Vietnam. In the past, girls usually marry at very young age; sometimes, it can be as soon as they turn 13. At such a young age, the adults claim that their they are immature in their thinking and behaving towards people, which is why they need a bridesmaid to “guide” them when they get married. This bridesmaid is often a female relative, usually her aunt or sister or cousin, who understands life and are respected by people. Moreover, this person must be someone who is “love lucky”, who has a good marriage life, with many children, who can guide the bride in every aspect of life. Her parents will help her choose a suitable bridesmaid and will ask them to guide her.
The custom goes so far that the this special bridesmaid will stay with the bride in her new home for 5-7 days after the wedding to teach her all she needs to know about “how to be a wife”. These experience can include, but not limited to, how to behave with the husband’s family, how to cook well, how to keep the house in order, how to care for her husband. This helps the bride better prepared emotionally and mentally. Then, at the Visitation ceremony (“lai mat” or “nhi hy”) the special bridesmaid have fulfilled her duty and go back to normal life.
In the modern day, the this bridesmaid tradition has been readjusted to suit the modernized way of thinking. The number of trays will be determined by the request of the bride or groom, usually an even number 2, 4, 6, or odd, 3, 5, 7, depends on the custom of the region. The duty of bridesmaids nowadays is mainly carrying the trays from the groom’s house to the bride’s home, and assist the couple in taking care of guests.
Because of such simple duty, the bridesmaid team are usually young girls at the age suitable for marriage, with pleasant appearance and mustn’t be married.
So, will carrying the trays cost you “love luck”?
As mentioned above, losing “love luck” means that the “charm” is given to another people, and it cannot be recovered. In fact, until now, there is no definite answer to this question, nor is it proven by any branch of science. There isn’t even any evidence or statistics about this opinion. On the other hand, many bridesmaids find that they can meet the love of their life pretty easily, and often a desirable man. In the Vietnamese traditional belief, “it is better to be cautious”, the brides’ family often give little gifts to the bridesmaid, or sometimes red envelopes of lucky money, which is a way of “returning” the luck. If you feel nervous about this, you can solve it by giving out little symbolic gifts like aforementioned.
Some notice to the single ladies in the bridesmaid team
- When you carry the trays, beware not to drop any offerings inside before getting to the bride’s home. For the best, do not drop anything at all.
- When the rituals end, the family of both sides will “return the love luck” to you, with the wish of happiness marriage in the future.
- And bear this in mind, whether you are lucky in love or not depends totally on you. Therefore, you shouldn’t be worried too much when carrying the trays.
Whether carrying the trays will cost you “love luck” or not is a question unanswered and not yet proven. However, you can rest your mind, knowing that: if you are a pretty, confident and well educated girl, you will surely find the love of your life. Best wishes from Vdes!